


Lover of Mine (Don't Give Up On Me)

by effervescentlou



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:41:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23577082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/effervescentlou/pseuds/effervescentlou
Summary: agathokakological (adj); composed of both good and evil.ORthe one where Louis parties too much, Zayn keeps falling for straight guys, Liam's a stress head, Niall is a magician with fabric, and Harry just wants to read his books.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Kudos: 1





	Lover of Mine (Don't Give Up On Me)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really sure what this is, to be honest. I'm quarantined and have all this time on my hands, so I figured I could do this instead of my school work. Apologies in advance for this downright mess of a story. I'll put Trigger Warnings on each chapter so just keep an eye out. 
> 
> TW//  
> drug use  
> recreational alcohol use

**I.**

**_"I will hallucinate your halos, your holiness."_ **

_Meena Kandasamy, Mrs Sunshine._

* * *

_Don't be surprised if your average drops this semester._

That's what Louis' professor had said just moments before they'd left the lecture room. He had seemed partially sympathetic when he had announced it, yet catching the eyes of his new pupils with true and earnest boredom. Louis had swallowed his scoff, nails biting his palms at the thought of failure but his lips quirked with amusement. The warning may be true for the rest of his classmates, but Louis Tomlinson's marks do not _drop_. It was ridiculous to even entertain the notion. 

The sky outside was grey, dotted with purple storm clouds and harsh wind as if it were delegating misery to the entirety of the university. Louis would not give in to such dreadful emotions. He buttoned up his coat, lit a cigarette and walked merrily toward his next class, Civil Law. 

By the time he meets Liam in the study halls, the sky had opened up and displayed a dismal rainstorm. Louis had to shake out the water droplets from his hair before he entered the large building. When he'd first arrived for his freshman year, the buildings had awed him. He would stand, staring at the high ceilings and detailed windows for minutes before he could even enter the rooms. Back then, when he still thrummed with energy and misguided astonishment, the buildings at one of the most prestigious schools in London had seemed like a Hogwarts dream. 

He barely looks around when he enters. 

Liam has his nose in a book and a steady frown on his forehead. Louis has made plenty of jokes about the changing winds and facial wrinkles in the past three years and today was not the time to stop. 

"Do cheer up, Payno." Louis grins, settling himself down across from Liam on the mahogany study table. "While I hear ladies do fancy older men, I don't think you should be fitting the description quite so soon." 

Liam barely looks up, too absorbed in his Econ work to bother with a response. Thankfully for Louis, Zayn shows up not long after and saves him from any further invigorating tales and witty retorts from Liam. 

"Zayn, my dear," Louis rests his head on Zayn's shoulder, a sigh leaving his parted lips. "What morning ventures can you report to us today?" In response to Louis' head on his shoulder, Zayn strokes his hair gently. "I will warn you though, Liam here had some bangers. Afraid you missed out on that." 

"Don't tease him." Zayn reprimands, a smile in his words. "He's just trying to study."

Liam looks up then, a pleased and triumphant lilt to his lips. "Thank you, Zayn." 

"Pleasure." Zayn responds and Louis sits upright, a frown biting into his mood. "Something has happened today, though." 

Louis rests his head on his own hand, staring at Zayn expectantly. "Do go on." 

"There's a boy in my Visual Culture class-" 

A groan elicited from Liam and Louis break Zayn's sentence and gain attention from a few glowering peers. 

"Honestly Zayn, you need to stop falling for straight guys." Liam scolds, concern in his frown. Louis bites down on the laugh erupting in his chest but can't rid himself of the manic grin on his lips when he looks back at Zayn. 

"Yes, Zayn." Louis goads. "You really must." 

There's a kick to his shin, hard and fast, and Louis glares at Zayn for it. Liam, like with most things, does not notice. 

"I didn't even say he was straight." He defends, but his friends only blink at him, like the unspoken description didn't even matter. "At least, I don't think he's straight." 

Louis pokes fun at him for a few minutes, Liam gently butting in with his own retorts but they're always accompanied with a kind smile and an apology in his eyes. Louis could never rely on him to rib into Zayn, which was rather infuriating. Zayn merely rolled his eyes at Louis' antics, rattling off his reasons as to why the guy in his class was clearly destined to bed him until Christmas break. Louis likes to remind him that he'd said the same thing about someone from one of his classes each term and that they all had one thing in common; they were all breaking his heart due to the fact they were the straightest guys on the planet. Zayn dismissed this with a wave of his hand and declared the same thing he always does, "Everyone's at least a little gay." 

"Are we going out tonight?" Louis asks in lieu of a response to Zayn's motto. He receives his favourite response to his question, which is Zayn's obvious yes and Liam's hesitance which is always quickly defused with a smile from the boy beside Louis partnered with a 'Come on, Li. You could use a break.' 

Once Louis obtains the answers he wants, he flits out of the hall and leaves Zayn and Liam to study. 

The fourth shot of tequila had Louis' head spinning and his hips swaying uncontrollably to the music. Zayn's beside him, dancing in time with the beat as the lights cut into his cheeks and his lashes shadow against his skin. Liam's at the bar, last time Louis checked, ordering drinks for a girl he won't end up bringing home. That's when Louis had dragged Zayn out to dance with him. It's usually how their nights begin. 

He takes Zayn's hand and spins him, he slots easily to Louis' front as they laugh into each other. Louis' hands find his hips, leading them in this sloppy dance as Zayn tips his head back and rests it on Louis' shoulder. They stay like this for a few songs, grinding into one another as the music thrums into their bones until the tequila starts to wear off into a sleepy haze. 

They head to the bar, laughing at the way some girl had just tried to pull Zayn back into her. Liam's still at the bar, a brunette wrapped around him and an untouched drink in his hands. Just as most nights, he looks alarmingly uncomfortable, and just as most nights, Louis saves him from himself. 

He evades Liam's personal space, putting an arm around his bulky shoulders and glaring at the girl sitting in his lap. 

"What the hell are you doing on my _boyfriend_?" Louis snaps, watching the girl's eyes widen with alarm. She bolts up, stumbling slightly as she does. She puts her arms up, stuttering out apologies and promises that she didn't know he was taken, then scurries away into the sweaty mass of people. Louis doesn't take his arm off Liam, just leans into him a little more as he exhales. 

"Thanks." Liam mutters into his hands like he's embarrassed this has had to happen again. Louis remains unbothered, knowing full well Liam has a terrible habit of talking to the closest person around him and getting himself into tricky situations. It's not his fault he's passionate about economics and doesn't realise when someone desperately wants to get into his pants. "I think I might head home." 

Louis boos him, a frown on his face. Zayn's gaze flicks between the two men in front of him, sending a disapproving look at Louis as he responds. "Okay, Li. You don't have to stay if you don't want to." 

Louis finally stands on his own, but quickly steals Liam's stool when he gets up. He frowns at his two friends, slightly crestfallen that the night has turned out like this on his own account. "Sorry, lads." 

Zayn shakes his head, laying a solid hand on Liam's shoulder. "Don't be silly. Go get some rest." 

Liam smiles gratefully at Zayn, then nods his head at the two and scurries out of the club. He's lost in a sea of people fuelled by alcohol, sex, and sweat. 

Louis turns to the bar just as Zayn does and they order another round of drinks. "You're disgustingly in love with him." 

Zayn grumbles under his breath, leaning into the counter as he swallows the contents of his glass. He deflates at the subject, growing hard and tired all at once. "Lou, don't." 

Louis' eyes trail over the people waiting at the bar, looking between a girl with a tight red top and a guy with shaggy, blonde hair. They're on opposite sides of the bar, Louis directly in the middle. He has an equal chance with both of them, he just has to choose which route he wants right now. Red Top spots him first, smiling shyly at him as she ignores what her friends are saying to her. Louis feels his lip curl upward, a slight smirk as he averts his gaze in an uninterested manner. Blonde Guy seems closer now when he looks over, apparently seeking Louis out before he has a chance to decide. 

"-And you know what he's like. It's not like everything would go back to normal if I suddenly rip my heart out of my chest and give it to him." He catches the last of Zayn's sentence, who had been talking without Louis' knowledge. Thankfully, it doesn't take much brainpower to figure out what he's been moping about. 

"Well, you know my advice. Fuck someone with a pretty face and forget who he is for a good hour. Then go out and do it again." Louis turns, eyeing the approaching Blonde Guy. He smiles at him as he nears. "Look, perfect opportunity." 

Zayn looks up as Blonde Guy stops in front of him, offering to buy Louis a drink. "I have one, mate. But I think my friend here would love one." 

He looks momentarily confused until he looks at Zayn and notices the absolute stunner glaring at Louis. He smiles, flirty and aloof like Zayn was his objective the entire time. Louis smiles innocently at his friend, who finally looks up at Blonde Guy and accepts the drink offer. 

Louis knows Zayn will complain about it tomorrow, but at least he's going to be freshly fucked when he does it. He slips away from them and finds passage to Red Top. 

The club bathrooms are grimy, packed with people looking for a quick escape in someone else or the powder crushed into the basin's edge. Louis opens the stool door as he buttons up his pants, pulling out a cigarette as he makes his way over to the sinks. Red Top slips out behind him, he doesn't look her way as she exits, his cum still trailing down her thighs. 

He lights the cigarette between his lips and pulls out his own small baggy, half-filled with pearly dreams. He sorts himself out on the bench, pinching his nose as it vibrates against his skin and into his head. He blinks away the discomfort, accepting the slight pang of pain as he heads out to the desperate clang of frail people. 

He's in a man's bed and the sun is nearly up. His companion has fallen asleep after an abysmally disappointing fuck. Louis hasn't slept, but he intents to as soon as he gets home. It's about five in the morning and he's stuck between exhaustion and annoyance. His veins are still buzzing, his head is still spinning and he just really wants to get his shoes on and leave. He spots them at the doorway and pulls them on before slamming the front door shut behind him. 

The car he called earlier is already waiting for him and his driver patiently opens the door for him and doesn't expect a greeting. It's one of the things Louis likes most about Greg, he knows Louis well enough to never ask questions, to always be on time and show up at his beck and call. It's the only reason he's been around since Louis' last year in high school. That and his wife makes a splendid lemon meringue pie during the holidays. 

By the time he gets home and showers, it's passed six-thirty. He has an eight a.m class he needs to get to - Professor Don't-Be-Surprised. He considers getting some sleep but he knows he'll probably just feel worse when he wakes up, so he pulls off his clothes and does a few laps in his downstairs pool, and then orders a large coffee and a breakfast bagel and eats it out on his back terrace. 

He feels rejuvenated, ready for a new day. _Who needs sleep_ , he thinks, _I'm more than functional._

There's a slight problem in his first class. While he had been far too busy thinking of his lack of failure yesterday, he missed the part about a formative exam that's scheduled for today. You could say Louis was slightly surprised when Professor Boredom announced the starting time will commence in six minutes the moment he stepped into the lecture. 

He was slightly thrown, yes, but that doesn't mean he couldn't get through this exam without his usual top marks. He thinks this will be the case until he gets halfway through the test pamphlet and his brain scrambles into nothingness, the events of last night fracturing his knowledge and his lack of sleep making him doubt what he writes down. 

The sun is out when he emerges from class and Louis is sure the blue sky is mocking him. The rest of his classes go by slowly, his head grows foggier and his mood only worsens. By the time he reaches Liam's flat, he's seething at his impending bad mark and he desperately wants a drink. The doorman buzzes him in, and he rides the elevator to the top floor. 

Not to his surprise, Zayn is situated in the living room playing FIFA on one of Liam's leather lounges. He seems ready to have a go at Louis when he spots him, but the words appear to die on his tongue, replaced with concern in his brow. 

"Everything alright?" He asks as Louis lounges on the spare couch. He hugs a pillow into his lap and props his feet up on the coffee table, something he knows will unhinge Liam. Speaking of...

"Where's Liam?" Louis looks around the vast apartment, but only spots the usual lavish curtains and plain artwork that Zayn loves to complain about.

 _There's just nothing there_ , he'd say. To which Liam would respond with something along the lines of how calming simplicity is. 

"In the shower." Zayn says, but he doesn't seem too invested in the conversation. Still observing Louis with a pinch between his brows. He wants to roll his eyes at his friend, but he thinks it might give away his shit mood. 

"Ooh." Louis coos. "You two finally share a moment of hot, steamy passion." 

Zayn's ears go pink, a feat in Louis' book, and his face hardens subsequently. He looks around, as if Liam may have materialised and overheard everything Louis had just said. "Would you keep your voice _down_." He glared, mouth set in a hard line. 

Louis placed his hands up in surrender, an amused quirk tugging on his lips. "Sorry, babe." 

Zayn gives him another hard look before turning back to his game. When Louis finally feels like he's no longer under a microscope, he leans his head back against the expensive leather couch and closes his eyes. Sleep pulls at his mind but he doesn't want to succumb, despite this he feels the edges of his brain begin to darken, shadowed with fatigue. 

Then his phone buzzes in his pocket and he fishes it out before he can even think about it. He blinks at the screen, recognising the name. It takes his sleepy mind a few moments to realise he's still staring at it, and Zayn's staring at him. 

This is not something he wants to deal with right now. 

He pockets the phone and he knows Zayn watches the movement. He rubs a hand over his face in an attempt to wake himself up. Liam appears in the lounge room, fresh-faced and smelling of citrus lemon. He smiles when he sees them but it quickly turns to a frown when he sees Louis' dirty shoes on his glass coffee table. 

" _Louis_ -" 

"Deepest apologies, Lima." Louis takes his feet off, crossing his ankles on the floor as he smiles up at Liam. Zayn is still watching Louis, which is definitely getting on his last nerve. 

"Have fun with NSYNC Justin Timberlake last night, Zaynie?" Louis directs his attention toward Zayn, who exhales at Louis' efforts. He glances up at Liam, a frown contorting his pretty face. Zayn hates talking about his hookups when Liam's around like it's going to expose his deep-rooted feelings toward his best mate. 

Liam looks at Zayn, just as Louis does, except there isn't a challenge in their puppy-eyed friend unlike there is in Louis'. 

"S'fine." Zayn mutters, picking up the controller once again and grumpily playing until Liam sits down beside him. He bites on his lip, glancing between the game and Liam. "So, there's a guy in my painting class..." 

He's obviously expecting groans, but Louis' too tired to care and Liam has one eye on the screen. Louis doesn't care for any of the boys Zayn wants to fuck in his painting class - which he doesn't even take for educational purposes. It's an _outside_ class, that he _signed up_ for when he saw it on a corkboard in town. 

"He's like proper fit, and I'm pretty sure he's actually gay because he keeps talking about his friend. And, like, not in a straight way." 

"How does one speak of their friends 'not in a straight way' exactly?" Louis asks, his mouth drying. Probably from boredom, or possibly from the lack of alcohol he's not ingesting. "Would it be the same way you-" 

"Fuck yes!" Liam shouts, winning the match he'd been playing. Louis smiles at the interruption, but Zayn finds it less funny. He's staring at Louis with a stern look, one filled with disappointment and concern. Louis hates that look. It's barely four, but he desperately wants to go out, to rid himself of the fatigue in his chest. He doesn't bother with much of a goodbye, knowing full well his friends won't come with him for a second night, nor will he be greeted with accomodating faces. 

Louis heads to the bar. He nods at the security at the slick, black door. Well passed the need to show his membership, they let him in. 

"Mr. Henderson." The name sits heavily in Louis' skull the moment it comes out of their mouths. 

The room beyond the curtain is dark, dimly lit with golden chandeliers and shelves that hold expensive whiskey. There's a drink waiting for him by the time he sits down at the bar. The staff member, nameless but known to Louis, nods his head in greeting. His phone buzzes in his pocket and he switches it off without bothering to look at the screen. He's ordering another drink before he realises. 

A man sits beside him, smelling of ginger and wine. The combination is enough to make Louis scrunch his nose but instead, he turns in his seat to smile, recognition inking his skin and seduction dripping from his lips. 

"Nigel, darling." 

The older man seems giddy that Louis remembered him, and he uses this to his advantage. He envisions golden champagne in his future. 

His formative marks are emailed to him and he's irate the second he opens it. His body hurts, his lack of sleep is gnawing at his bones and now he has to deal with this 82%. His phone is ringing relentlessly and this time he knows he can't ignore it, but he doesn't turn it on until after his last class. He barely managed to get two hours of sleep last night, so it's a feat to even get himself up the stairs of his lecture room. It's getting dark, Thursday is the only day he has classes this late. Louis rubs at his eyes, the world morphing into blurry edges and bright lights for a moment. Before he can stop himself, he dials the number. 

Zayn hears his front door open over the ruckus of his guests, he suspects it's Louis before he heads around the corner to check. He'd been expecting him to pop by, he just hadn't been able to get in contact with him. If Zayn knew anything, it was that Louis would need to be warned of the situation he's about to walk into. 

His best friend looks tired, bags under his eyes and his quiff wilting sadly on his head like he'd been pulling at it endlessly. He wondered how much sleep Louis had gotten this week. He's got his cell pressed to his ear, pacing at the front door. He's yet to spot Zayn, so he hears snippets of the conversation. 

"I can deal with it." Louis has his eyes closed, head back to stare at the ceiling. He's gnawing at his nails, one of the habits Zayn needs to catalog. "Yes, sir. I understand...I trust you will, sir...I won't tell-" 

Louis had opened his eyes and spotted Zayn leaning against the doorframe to the foyer. He hates it when people eavesdrop, hates it when Zayn does. This wouldn't end well if he doesn't think of something fast. Hopefully, the situation in his kitchen will be enough to distract him. 

"I have to go." Louis doesn't take his eyes off Zayn, a hard line to his mouth. "Yes sir, I will see you this weekend."

It's quiet when Louis disconnects the phone call and pockets his cell. Zayn doesn't move from his spot against the doorframe. There's a dark mark on Louis' collarbone that he hadn't seen until he stepped closer, until he was evading Zayn's space and he could smell the day-old whiskey and stale leather on his clothes. He logs all of this in his analysis and Louis watches him do it. 

"What did you end up doing last night?" Zayn asks, the first to break the tension-filled room. They both know where he was last night, they both know who was on the other side of that phone call. 

Louis' breath tickles Zayn's face. It smelt like cigarettes and coffee. 

"Library." Louis smiled sweetly "Still have so much to learn." He murmured but it didn't matter, he was close enough that Zayn could hear, close enough that he could feel the heat radiating off his skin. He wasn't sure if Louis had been talking about himself or about Zayn. "Is Liam here?" 

Loaded with a suggestion, Zayn took a step back. He inhaled air that didn't reek of hidden reticence. "Lou-"

"Zayn, you bastard! You left me to care for the children!" There's a heavy, thick accented voice coming into the foyer, followed by a short guy with bleached blonde hair and a wide grin on his face. He spots Louis and seems more than pleased. "You must be Louis! Z's told us so much about you I feel like we're best mates already!" He walks closer as he's talking and finds it appropriate to bring Louis into a tight hug, one that he doesn't reciprocate. He lets go of Louis, undeterred by his lack of response and his smile is still as wide.

Louis hates him. 

"This is Niall." Zayn speaks up, bringing a hand to Niall's bicep and subtly bringing him to his side. Louis wasn't sure if it was for his own benefit or for Niall's. 

"Right." Louis looks between them, and his skin feels like it's attempting to crawl away from his body. "Is Liam here?" 

If Zayn's a lost cause to overly happy, bleached blonde guys than Louis can only hope Liam isn't completely useless. He sidesteps the two without waiting for an answer and heads further into the house. He hears loud, bubbly laughter coming from the kitchen and the little hope he had deflates in his chest. The sound doesn't belong to anyone he knows, and such a spontaneous amount of amusement could have never come from Liam. Who is standing in the kitchen, smiling brightly at someone across from him. Louis finally emerges into the large, white-tiled room and sees, much to his disappointment, an incredibly cheerful person. The stranger is grinning widely, eyes alight with happiness. Despite Louis' annoyance, he's taken aback by the dimples that appear on their cream skin. 

"Hey, Lou." Liam smiles, unaware of Louis' anger-flushed skin and tired eyes. "This is Harry." 

The stranger, Harry, looks over at Louis and he's once again forced to notice another stark attribute of his. His rather piercing, green eyes. Harry stands from the kitchen stool and when he rounds the island Louis is confronted with how annoyingly tall this person is, and how stupidly tight his black jeans are against his thighs. 

"Nice to finally meet you. They've told us a bit about you." Harry speaks slowly, like honey dripping into warm tea. Louis hates it. He ignores the extended hand from this ridiculous stranger, who is in severe need of shirt-buttoning lessons, and heads over to the fridge in search of a drink. When he takes one out, he doesn't miss the confused frown disappearing from the tall lad's face nor does he miss the silent apology etched into Liam's face. Zayn and the blonde one appear in the room just as Louis takes a drink from his beer. 

"Looks like we've all met then." Zayn announces, smiling at the group. Louis doesn't hide his eye roll, but the tall one is the only person who saw him do it. Louis doesn't like the way his stomach curls at his frown, he doesn't like the way this random person can come into his best friend's house and judge _him_ for not wanting anything to do with them.

"How did you meet them anyway?" Louis asks, finding comfort in his near-empty drink. Niall's cheerful gaze lands on him for the briefest moment and doesn't deter when Louis scowls at him. 

"Harry's in my painting class." Zayn beams as his new friend smiles back like they're sharing a meet-cute memory. 

Right. Him. 

"The semi-straight guy who is fucking his best mate?" Louis asks, tasting the last of his beverage on his lips. "That one?" 

The room falls silent as they all blink at Louis, even the chipper Irish fuck seems to lose some of his smile. Good. 

Liam lets out a steady breathe, bathed in disappointment and exhaustion. Zayn chews at his bottom lip, a habit Louis knows comes from a mix of concern and annoyance. He doesn't look at anyone else in the room, narrowly staring at Louis. He can see the cogs turning behind Zayn's eyes, the detective trying to piece together why his _troubled best friend_ is acting out yet again. 

It's because you've brought two bright-eyed fuckwits into your house, who obviously suck and shouldn't smile so much. It's fucking creepy. 

"Can I talk to you for a second, Lou." Zayn moves out of the room, swift and elegant. It wasn't a question and Louis knows if he doesn't follow him, he'll probably get dragged by the ear or Liam will pick him up and lock him in a room or something ridiculous. It wouldn't be the first time. 

Zayn walks up the stairs with Louis shuffling a distance behind him. He's not in the mood to be scolded. He's tired and annoyed and just wants something stronger than shitty beer. He follows Zayn into his bedroom, dimly lit by the bedside lights. 

"Whisked me away for a cheeky rendevous, have we? How terribly promiscuous." Louis' smug smile burns into his own skin, exhaustion forcing him to sound a little beaten. He waits for a retort, a verbal lashing that forces Louis into submission but it never comes. Instead, Zayn turns and brings him into his arms, hugging Louis into his chest as tight as he possibly can. 

Louis tries to shuffle out of it, anger spiking in his chest but Zayn doesn't relent. "Zayn, _don't_ -"

" _Ophelia_ ," He utters, tightening his hold on his best friend, refusing to let go. "Ophelia, Ophelia."

Louis stops fighting, stumbling into Zayn's arms. The word rattles inside his head like a bird trying to free itself from a cage.

Ophelia.

His legs give out from underneath him, but Zayn doesn't let him fall. He grapples onto Zayn's shirt, clinging to it as his brain suffers the wave of exhaustion hitting him, making his knees buckle. There's suddenly too much air in his lungs, drowning him from inside, and he's blindly moved to sit down on the bed. Neither of them untangles themselves. They sit in silence until Louis can breathe just a little easier.

Eventually, Louis takes his head away from Zayn's neck and sits on his own. He looks down at his clenched hands, nails biting into the skin. 

"Why don't you get some sleep, yeah?" Zayn suggests, pulling the covers back. Louis wordlessly nods his head and climbs in, kicking off his shoes before settling into the mattress. It's one of the only places he can get a decent sleep. 

He already feels sleep pulling him into a dreamless reverie, but he feels the mattress dip beside him as Zayn sits down. He'll stay there until Louis falls asleep, he knows and he gets some twisted comfort from that before he's lost to his nightmares. 


End file.
